Order and Oblivion

depression spot #1
Photo by Rick&Brenda Beerhorst

I sometimes joke that I can see the diagnose a mental illness in anyone. Obsessed with eliminating clutter? OCD.  Involved in 40 projects at once? ADHD. Use anger as a defense mechanism? Bipolar.  I’ve always tried to focus on the symptoms, but my need for order and organization pushes me towards a label for what’s going on in people’s brains.

But how could I not see what’s going on with my own daughter? Have I really been focused on Tim’s disorder so intently that I didn’t recognize her symptoms of depression?  If that’s what it is? It’s definitely more than just being  teenager.  And my own OCD-ish obsession with labeling what’s wrong so I have an idea of how to fix it is now in hyper-awareness, trying to focus on symptoms and not a diagnosis, and failing badly.  I do recognize that we need help.  So we’re back to therapy next week.  That’s the soonest we could get her in.

And I’m going to try and stay off the Internet diagnostic sites until after then, and focus on only her mood and behavior and how to alleviate those that cause her discomfort.  Wish me luck.


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