Hypocrite

Black Dog Depression

I thought I could go off of my meds.  I thought I was stronger than depression.  But the black dog is back and he’s sitting on my chest, daring me to leave him off leash.  I tried. I thought the exercise would be enough.  But five weeks off my meds and his teeth are bared and I keep thinking that ending it all would keep him from getting me.

I don’t know why admitting it to myself is so defeating. I’ve spent years giving others the lecture about getting treatment and that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of.

So today, I go back to my shrink today and admit defeat.

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5 Comments

  • Reply Jennifer Campisano April 23, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    Not defeat, just an admission that you can't do everything on your own (hint: none of us can).

  • Reply Chrisa Hickey April 24, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    Thank you. I need to remember that.

  • Reply ~Niki~ May 11, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    just started my mental health blog and have you on my links 🙂
    http://continuouslypresent.blogspot.com/

  • Reply atej7 May 22, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    I'm not sure if my comment went through. I love your blog and think it is very important. I have been blogging about mental health for a couple of years now as my family has been greatly impacted by mental illness. My mom had paranoid schizophrenia and others have suffered from depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. Thank you for this blog.

  • Reply Chrisa Hickey May 22, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Thank you for sharing!

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