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Chrisa Hickey2 comments1583 views

I don’t sleep much. I used to. My husband Tom used to call me a stress narcoleptic – when I got stressed out, I’d get tired and nap a lot. Not depression tired, just brain-tired.

Now I’m lucky if I get 5 hours a night. About once a week, I don’t sleep at all. It’s after midnight now, and I’m not even close to tired, even after today’s shenanigans. I think I’ve seen every Law & Order ever broadcast.

I could do something about it. I have a prescription for Ativan, for anxiety and sleep problems. But I have this irrational notion that if I need meds, I’ve given up. I know it’s irrational – I feed my kid 10 pills a day, after all – but it still sticks in my craw. I gave up last year – my shrink put me on antidepressants – and I felt crappy the whole time. The withdrawals were intense when I decided I’d had enough and weaned myself off of them. I had the spins for a month.

Tom sleeps pretty well, but he’s a self-medicator. Scotch is his medication of choice. I’m not a big drinker. I think it’s a control thing. I hate being out of control.

And I’m always out of control, it seems.


  1. If insomnia is wreaking havoc in your life and in spite of your consistent efforts you are unable to sleep at night, you should soon approach a doctor. After a thorough examination, your physician may prescribe sleep inducing medicines such as ambien or sonata. However these medicines should never be taken without a proper prescription from a doctor as they tend to yield side-effects which at times can be serious.

  2. I appreciate your concern. I really do.

    I am, frankly, afraid of ambien, becuase of all the strange side effects.

    I do have ativan for sleep issues and anxiety issues (they are usually tied for me), and I've slept pretty well the last two nights with that.

    Man, I hate doctors. My kid has six, that's probably why. I see so many doctors with him, I have no desire to see any others, ever.

    But you bring up a good point, that many parents of kids with disabilities forget – time for ourselves. It's hard, but it's important to make time for ourselves once in a while. I did yesterday – took a nice, long shower, actually blow dried my hair, which I rarely get time to do, and spent two hours wandering around Sephora and Williams Sonoma, two stores I love, as I love cooking and makeup. Which is ironic, because I rarely have time to put on makeup or cook!

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